Originally published in The Blade on Wednesday, June 4, 2008
BY RYAN E. SMITH
BLADE STAFF WRITER
That beloved archaelogist/adventurer Indiana Jones is back after a 19-year hiatus. The timing must be right: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has raked in more than $200 million so far at the domestic box office. It also made Harrison Ford, 65, the latest in a long line of former superstars to stage comebacks in their iconic roles after extended breaks.
Sylvester Stallone is perhaps the best - and worst - example, having recently revived two left-for-dead franchises in the span of two years. He brought back Rocky in 2006 after 16 years out of the ring, and Rambo followed this past January after a layoff of 20 years. Bruce Willis followed suit last year by starring in Live Free or Die Hard, the first installment in that action movie series in a dozen years.
Why stop there? Here are six more suggestions for films, and the actors they feature, that are just begging to be brought back.
Indiana Jones has returned, so we imagine older heroes making comebacks
The Little Godfather
Starring: Al Pacino
Plot: An elderly Don Michael Corleone, blinded by the latest attempt on his life, spends his days bored and powerless in a nursing home until a rough-and-tumble teenage dwarf from his old neighborhood starts visiting as a school project. Spinning stories about the good old days leads the two to hatch a plan to get back in the mafia business and lends new meaning to Pacino's line from Scarface, "Say hello to my little friend!"
Last installment in the series: 1990
Home Alone at Neverland
Starring: Macaulay Culkin
Plot: A 27-year-old who is housesitting for his friend Michael Jackson has to defend the Neverland ranch - by booby-trapping its Ferris wheel, roller coaster, zoo, and more - against an invasion of paparazzi, Lisa Marie Presley, and a sneaking suspicion that Jackson might still be lurking somewhere on the property. Special appearances by Bubbles the chimp, Liza Minnelli, and LaToya.
Last installment in the series: 1997
Conan the Terminator
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Plot: In humanity's last chance for survival against killer machines, Conan is retrieved from the past to improve the accents and fighting skills of the resistance. Unfortunately, a Terminator from the future is there too, with instructions to kill Conan. Even worse: Everyone's time machines are a few years off and they find a cigar-smoking Conan in his golden years with a gut and hip replacement.
Last installment in the series: Conan, 1984;
Terminator, 2003
Missing in Action: Red, White, Black & Blue
Starring: Chuck Norris
Plot: Col. James Braddock is now a no-nonsense politician running for president who calls his right fist "Law" and his left one "Order." When rogue Texas Rangers shave his beard and capture his staff - Ralph Macchio, David Carradine, and Jean-Claude Van Damme - he only has 24 hours to grow the beard back and save them or his campaign and their lives will be over.
Last installment in the series: 1988
Beverly Hills Cop IV: The Big Top
Starring: Eddie Murphy (in six different roles)
Plot: When Det. Axel Foley, depressed and grossly overweight, is kicked in the head by a donkey while investigating a murder at the circus in Detroit, he vows revenge against the beast and traces the Big Top back to Beverly Hills. There Foley discovers that his concussion has given him the ability to speak to animals, and he is reunited with Judge Reinhold, a policeman turned weight-loss guru who guards a secret formula.
Last installment in the series: 1994
Planet of the Aliens
Starring: Sigourney Weaver
Plot: Ellen Ripley returns to earth after a spaceship full of aliens crashes into the planet. What she doesn't know is that the impact has altered the space-time continuum and humidity levels. Once she lands, she battles frizzy hair and a world ruled by drooling aliens who talk in British accents and kill humans for sport. Tom Cruise plays the alien king who bursts from Ripley's belly and converts them all to Scientology.
Last installment in the series: 1997 (not counting Alien Vs. Predator movies)